Technical analysis by Rekt4Sure about Symbol TRUMP: Buy recommendation (5/9/2025)

**"The Art of the Day Trade"** One sunny Tuesday morning, Donald J. Trump decided he’d conquered enough—real estate, reality TV, the presidency—and it was time for the next frontier: **day trading**. “I understand markets better than anyone,” he told himself in the mirror, adjusting a red tie longer than the Nasdaq ticker. Armed with a triple espresso and a Twitter account still mysteriously active, he downloaded a trading app called “Stonks4U.” He liked it because the logo was a bald eagle holding a dollar sign. His first move? Buy 10,000 shares of **ToasterCoin**, a cryptocurrency that claimed to revolutionize breakfast. “Huge potential. Best toast tech. Everyone's talking about it,” he said, ignoring the whitepaper, which was mostly just a recipe for French toast and a picture of Elon Musk in a chef hat. At 9:45 AM, he saw a Reddit post titled “SELL TOASTERCOIN BEFORE IT BURNS.” He panicked. “Fake news!” he shouted at the screen. “We’re HOLDING. I invented holding. It’s called 'diamond hands', look it up.” By 10:15 AM, he’d also bought shares in something called **Quantum Ferret Technologies**, mistaking it for a defense contractor. It was, in fact, a Twitch streamer who reviews cheese. His portfolio plummeted faster than a lead balloon in a black hole. “It’s all rigged,” he proclaimed, pacing the room. “This is worse than the Emmy voters in 2004!” Then, at exactly 3:59 PM, one of his holdings—a little-known stock called “Covfefe Energy”—mysteriously surged 900% after he accidentally tweeted “\ $CVFE to the moon” instead of “coffee.” The stock soared. Reddit exploded. Financial reporters were baffled. Trump leaned back in his chair, sipping Diet Coke like a seasoned market guru. “I call that a **strategic typo**,” he smirked. By 4:01 PM, he was banned from three trading platforms, but up \$12 million. “Best trader. Everybody says so,” he whispered proudly, already eyeing up Dogecoin again. (ALLEGEDLY)